We’re off to the gala
and my boyfriend’s 10 minutes late.
I’ve been ready for awhile, and had a drink while I wait.
I’ve had a few martini’s now and changed my outfit twice
this dress has always been weird,
I guess that’s why it was half price!
My boyfriend’s finally here, so I’m headed down
good thing my boyfriend is a rodeo clown!
I’m off to Dinner & a Show
and I’m going with my beau.
He bought me this dress for the special occasion,
and to wear it I must say took little persuasion.
He did mention one thing to go without pretty please;
anyone feel that breeze?
I’m Wet
and I’m not sure why I’m here.
I hopped a bus from New Orleans and then I cracked a beer.
I must have dozed off, for an hour or two
and when I awoke the bus was gone but what a gorgeous view!
So I’ve been walking the beach in my fur coat contemplating my day
Eh, I could have ended up in worser spots, so I think I’ll stay!
It’s been 6 hours
Since the photoshoot ended and we were supposed to head back,
but halfway down the mountain, my photographer lost his pack!
He decided he needed the bag so up the trail he walked
leaving me to fend for myself, I tell you I was shocked!
So here I wander along these trails, in a gown and heels to boot
I’ll find my way out eventually
my survival skills are of high repute!
Combing my hair
relaxes my mind and allows the stress to melt away.
I can imagine I’m naked in the jungle
carefree and gay.
What’s that you say? I AM naked in the jungle, and told no one I was going on vacation?
Well that’s the last time I take Ambien for recreation!
The Spotlight’s on me
and I’m ready to shine my light.
I’ve rehearsed this moment, and I know my song; there’s not a nerve in sight!
I’ve prepared every night this week, and even quit smoking too,
I did my vocal runs before bed, and sipped that soothing ginger brew.
I’m ready to go, the spotlight is on me
3…2…1…but I forgot to pee.
Did you ever wonder
what happens when you die?
What happens to your shit, who will be happy and who will cry?
I know at least 5 girls who’ll be happy, and even less who’ll be crying;
but maybe that’s why I’m not dead yet, so I can continue trying?
I’m playing Eve
in our school play, and I have some reservations.
No not about being naked and only covered in vegetations.
My concern is all the flowers we chose to take from the bees
and the fact that I have allergies and cannot prevent a sneeze!
I’m just out running errands
and I’m in a couture gown!
I feel everyday is chance to show them your golden crown.
Wash that face, earrings on, a dress and a high high heel,
will not only fill you with that confidence, but will make all your haters kneel!
I swear I didn’t know
that this dress was see-through!
I threw it on and rushed out the door without even a clue!
Now it’s half past one A.M and no cabs to be found
so I’m strolling down the city streets, waving my bits all around.
But I’m a positive girl and like to think that way,
so it’s a good thing I wore panties today!
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
I’m not your typical girl
I don’t fawn over boys.
I wear makeup because I enjoy it, and I make a lot of fucking noise!
I wear short skirts because I like my legs
and I sometimes wear no bra;
I have no problem with how I look because I don’t have a single flaw!
Keep your comments to yourself unless they’re really crass, and in that case say them louder and I’LL KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.